Letting go and being free – harder than it looks, simpler than we make it?
Letting go and being free and being able to stay in the present moment is harder than it looks sometimes…and maybe simpler than we make it?
As a mom of two, part time blogger and Akashic Records Reader (amongst other things!) I sometimes find myself off the Spiritual Journey and embroiled in what I call the Ridicu-list. I know Anderson Cooper has one of these…but mine is for parents, specifically, and today I’m writing for moms – since I am one.
What’s in YOUR Ridicu-list?
Now my dear mum didn’t have a dryer until we were teens, or a dishwasher even. Newer technology can definitely help our busy days …yet sometimes they just add more expectations to our workload.
My mum was busy, busy, busy. She kept house, did all the shopping the shopping and laundry, grew her own fruits and veggies, ironed Dad’s shirts, cooked a fresh dinner every night (except for Friday – we had fish and chips!). She knitted, sewed, planned, canned, jarred, you name it.
My Dad was super-busy too, but this post isn’t about Dads. (Sorry, Dads!).
That was it. I know she would have liked to do more in the professional field …but there was no expectation for her to do more.
Now we have the modern Ridicu-list. You know the one.
Modern Moms can feel pressure from all sides
How to master letting go and being free when our Ridicu-list is calling us and growing exponentially the minute we turn our backs?
Now we are asked to do all the above, PLUS manage our digital world, after school activities, help with homework, manage childhood emotional traumas…and so on. Those digital photos need sending to grandma…time to fix the yard…redecorate…and can I really fit in all those things I posted onto that Pinterest Board?
What really works for me when I feel completely overwhelmed and zone out (on the Spiritual Journey – or not – it’s going to happen)…is that I
- add some humor, act silly
- get off what my Dad used to call ‘The Magic Roundabout’. The Circle of Life…
- decide what’s most important for the next few minutes and do it only if it absolutely HAS to get done
- get down on a yoga mat and do some moves…(sometimes)
- (or perhaps just watch “What does the Fox say?” on Youtube)
- after a few minutes – get back on!
Letting go and being free – why we all need to learn to be ‘polychronic’ as opposed to ‘monochronic’
I was saved from burnout yesterday by Martha Beck’s article in the March 2014 issue of Oprah Magazine. I got off the Magic Roundabout and read it. Phew.
Martha talks about our Ridicu-lists and uses the term ‘flaking out’ when we find we can’t keep up. She says…
Business experts use the word monochronic to describe people who focus tightly on linear sequences of tasks. Folks who multi-task and drift from one distraction to the next are called polychronic. Our culture has been deeply monochronic since the Industrial Revolution, when mass production suddenly made it essential to show up punctually and work in lockstep.
Nowadays, we’re more likely to work with information in ways no one had even imagined during the industrial era. Yet we find ourselves still trying to be monochronic in this wildly polychronic environment, creating stress that only makes us flakier.
Now THAT helps me with letting go and being free!
BC (Before Children) I was definitely monochronic. I was an old young person by my mid-twenties, wearing a suit and blouse, had a career, a husband, a house and mortgage to boot. I worked hard and played too, but in a monochronic manner as did my parents before me (both World War II children).
When it comes to child-raising and children…especially the millennial generations – they are naturally polychronic! IMHO – one of modern society’s shifts is (and will be) the act of throwing off monochronic thinking in order to grow and create new ways of being.
Martha Beck also offers this equation – flakiness potential for any given task
She goes on to say…
If you want flakiness (zoning out) to decrease, you must push everything you possibly can into a zone she calls “Low Fear/High Love”. This creates something that we flakes call fun. In hindsight, it seems glaringly obvious that enjoyment decreases flakiness. Adults can become far more productive when their work feels like play. In our distracted era, fun can fight flakiness.
OK, now, writing is fun for me. That was fun!
Love to hear your techniques for having fun, letting go and being free.
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