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What I do when I’m missing my mum | Grief as a process and moving on through it | by Mom On A Spiritual Journey

Grief – what I do when I’m missing my mum

missing my mum

Mum (on the right) and one of her close friends Ellen channelling Thelma and Louise in the South of France (little did they know!)

Last month was the 2nd anniversary of my mum’s passing.  This blog is inspired by her, and you can read more about the story of her passing here.

One of her dearest and best friends who now lives in Australia sent me a very loving email and that was very comforting.

Anyone who goes through the loss of a parent though will tell you that the pain is intense, may fade with time and sometimes comes back strongly at a time when you least expect it.

During the last two years I have found some more ways to deal with the process of moving through grief

So when I’m missing my mum, I do some of the things she used to do and it comforts me and gives me a feeling of continuity.

Mum was a great cook, and as she got older every time I visited the UK from the US she would give me some more of her recipes.  Some were taken from Mrs Beaton’s cookbook (a British cooking bible), some from magazines and all were given a twist and flair because of her cooking skill.

If she was here now, she’d be blushing, because she always used to say “I’m just an ordinary cook”.  In my opinion they are the best kind!

So when I’m missing my mum I cook

Here’s one little recipe book that my mum gave me a few years ago.  She used to make the Cheese Straws, Melting Moments and Sponge Butterflies, which in the UK we also call ‘Fairy Cakes’.

When my oldest daughter Callie tasted the Fairy Cakes that my mum (her grandma) made for her, her eyes rolled back into her head).  🙂

Missing my mum

All the more precious for having a note written by my mum in the margin – click to see the recipes in detail

We started thinking about taking recipes home once my mum moved into a more sheltered living situation.

Our family are very happy that Mum thought ahead about this, and so did we, because now I have more family memories to share with my children (via our taste-buds!).

Missing my mum

Second part of the book – click to see recipes in detail.

Very powerful and also very comforting.  So, perhaps if you haven’t thought of sharing recipes yet with a dear family member, if they are open to the conversation you may all find the process comforting.

When I’m missing my mum – I’ve also started wearing an apron like she did!

When I was young and then through the teenage years, I progressed through the inevitable stages of thinking that my mum was old-fashioned and that a lot of the stuff she did was just plain silly.

Apron-wearing was on that list, along with buying flatter shoes, wearing slippers in the house and buying skirts with a lining.

Now a mom myself in my late forties, I have to reluctantly concede that, of course, my mum was right.  And strangely, I’m actually enjoying the process!

I like wearing an apron!

Having had to give up on relatively new t-shirts with apparently now indelible grease stains, I now wear an apron most of the time when I cook.

I like wearing an apron!  What a discovery.  It makes me feel more professional and helps me with the transition from other life activities to ‘now I’m cooking dinner’.  It’s empowering and comforting at the same time.

What a pleasant surprise.

When I’m missing my mum and it’s really painful

The psychic medium John Edward states that “Grief is a process, we don’t ‘get over it’, we just move through it”.

Sometimes moving through the grieving process is quite simply painful.  One of the ways I help myself release some of the pain is to use a homeopathic product called #7 Lung Meridian, or Grief.  It was created by Dr Theresa Dale at The Wellness Center and is described as a ‘Neuro-Emotional Remedy’, or NER for short.

These NERS (and there are more than just one available) help us balance the emotions, energy meridians and organs when an emotional state is overwhelming.  If you’re not familiar with homeopathy, you may want to visit a licensed homeopath to discuss using a remedy first so that you can learn more about homeopathy and how it works..

I have learned a little about meridians whilst studying reflexology and still have more to learn.   This remedy works very well for me, and it makes absolute sense that it would be a ‘grief’ remedy if we think about the lungs and how we express grief (by crying for example, or having a very heavy feeling in the chest).

Recently reading Karen Noe’s book ‘Through the Eyes of Another’ – perhaps I’ll write a gratitude letter, too

My last post before this was a review of Karen Noe’s book ‘Through the Eyes of Another’.  For more on the book review, click here.

Karen as a psychic medium found herself constantly relaying regrets – from loved ones who have passed onto those still living – about issues that had not been resolved during life.

She suggests clearing some of these issues by having your own life review before you transition to …whatever lies beyond this life.  This involves writing letters to loved ones both alive and passed on in order to clear any issues you may have with them.

In her book Karen writes about the story of her deceased mother, who was able to read a gratitude letter from Karen before she passed.  In fact Karen’s mom passed in 2011, after the first printing of the book.  Here’s an excerpt from her story

…The day before she passed, she was unaware of what was going on around her.  As she lay in bed, I was so happy to see the letter I had written to her laying on her desk.  It had everything I needed to say, so I pulled up a chair and softly read those words to her.  Although she had not responded earlier to anything, as I was reading my letter of love to her, the expression on her face completely changed, and she raised her hands to her mouth.  She had heard me.  What a blessing it was that I had already written down those perfect words and was able to read them to her during her final days.  Everything I needed to say was said, and I had no regrets.

I was fortunate that my mum and I cleared any issues before she passed by talking about them.  If that’s hard to do, then a letter would work just as well.

When it gets hard for me again during the process of moving through grief, I think I’ll write my mum a gratitude letter.

About Sarah Lawrence

Sarah is an Akashic energy intuitive and gives New World Energetics Readings. Learn how to sense your energy field (and others), get connected with your Akashic Records, learn how to balance your energy - personal growth on the Spiritual Journey. Connect on Skype at 'NewWorldEnergetics' or call 1-316 247 4144

7 Comments

  1. Sarah, I was so moved by your story, and incorporating aspects of your mom is a wonderful thing to do. I remember the pain of losing my mother many years ago, and yet we are lucky to have had the kind of mothers we can miss like that. It is even harder for those who don’t. As always, such a good job you do and thank you for sharing. This is so validating for those going through grief.

    Blessings,

    Aleta

    • Hi Aleta,

      Thanks for your comment and I’m happy that you are moved (in the best way…that’s the response I was looking for). I agree, we are lucky to have had the kind of mothers that we can miss like that. All the more important to clear up issues for those whose mothers are still with us. I’m sure it’s much for painful for people who haven’t cleared issues with their mums.

      In the energy of love!

      Sarah

  2. Hi Sarah,

    Very touching post. I lost my dad 9 years ago this month. Grieving seems to be a process that never ends. (much like life) it gets easier but like you said it can get really intense in an instant sometimes. Nowadays when I find myself missing my dad I talk to him. Sure I look crazy talking to him aloud so I usually do so when no one is around or during my prayer and meditation time. Its never any “special” conversation. Just usually me telling him I miss him affirming my love for him and me sensing that he is well. Many blessings.

  3. Truly lovely article Sarah.

    I love aprons now too by the way.

    I know I am lucky to still have my mom around. She worries about shopping for gifts. I tell her I want only a story from her or, a hand written recipe. I got a limerick for my birthday (helped to be created by my daughter). I loved looking at your recipe cards.

    very nice.

    love,candace

  4. Hi Sarah,
    This September is the two year anniversary of my mother’s passing; I miss her so. Thanks for your post, it was a reminder. And I too, have adopted some of my mother’s old fashioned ideas and they are endearing; are we getting old? I guess we are, but smarter too. Great post, Patricia

  5. Hi Sarah, touching post! I lost my mom too several years ago. I often where her aprons when I bake & I use one of her old ones to paint in. (artwork) I will be back to join community. For some reason it wouldn’t let me sign in. I’ll use computer tomorrow. Pop by any time. 😉

  6. The loss of my parents was difficulty for me as well, to say the least. However, their passing led me on a different spiritual path. My good thoughts are being sent you way. This is a hard time.

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