Empath Mom? How To Find More Balance While Nurturing
When you’re an empath mom, you feel everything. Learn more about your empathic abilities so that you can help yourself stay balanced, as well as nurture your children.
Table of contents
- What is Empathy?
- The Empath Mom as a Functional Pattern – Not A Fixed Type
- You Are Probably Reading This Because You Are Overwhelmed
- An Empath Mom Is Somebody With A Hidden Mechanism
- Boundaries Are Not A Rejection Of Our Loved Ones
- Being An Empath Mom Is a Gift – Learn To Give That Gift To Ourselves
- Empath Moms – Our Unconscious Inheritance
- Strategizing and Empathy Can Meet With The Success Codex
- Learn More About The Akashic Records Readings I Offer
- Download the PDF Akashic Records for Beginners
What is Empathy?
I believe that everyone has some level of empathy, so being an empathic mom is something everyone can potentially experience.
Yet, through social conditioning and our shadows, even trauma, we may lose sight of that sensitivity. And sometimes, we need to shut that sensitivity down because we are completely overwhelmed and need to function.
Plus, a proportion of the population has a genetic predisposition to greater nervous system sensitivities.
Even modern science acknowledges this through different medical assessments, such as autism and sensory processing disorder.
Here’s a definition of ’empath’ from the Urban Dictionary: A person who is capable of feeling the emotions of others even though they themselves are not going through the same situation.
One of the first scientific studies to acknowledge empathic traits as sensitivity in modern times was Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. She noticed through research that about 15% of the human population experiences high sensitivity.
Book Available on Amazon: The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
The Empath Mom as a Functional Pattern – Not A Fixed Type
As an empathic person, or Highly Sensitive Person, you may have certain traits. I’d like you to understand these traits differently, not as a condition or limitation, but as a form of unique attunement.
Over the years, I’ve shifted from thinking about being empathic as a fixed type to an understanding that the potential for empathy is always there in everybody’s DNA, but that it can be blocked.
We all have mirror neurons, which the latest science believes we use to help us learn by mirroring others. Your baby will mirror your facial expressions, as parents have discovered over the ages. Today, we play with this ability on Instagram and TikTok because it’s cute and funny.
We all have this ability to mirror. It’s how we become socialized and survive as individuals in a sometimes scary world. So what’s the difference between a parent and an empath parent, or empath mom?
Resource: Your Soul’s Intentions Through Human Design (Human Design Readings can help us to understand our innate genetic predispositions). Ask me for a free Human Design Chart and short report.
You Are Probably Reading This Because You Are Overwhelmed
If you are reading this, it may be because you googled Empath, or Empath Mom, and are wondering how to cope with feeling everything while being a parent.
I’d like to invite you to think about yourself and your empathy as a bandwidth. You are like a tuning fork for others’ needs through high-sensory awareness.
Some of your unconscious or conscious skills through attuning your awareness may include: –
- Registering subtle shifts in mood before they are spoken
- Anticipating needs before your child speaks them
- Smoothing the energetic field around your whole family so that the family’s energy remains coherent
- Noticing that your child may be getting sick
- Feeling a child’s emotions of joy or distress (or whatever emotional bandwidth they are moving through)
An Empath Mom Is Somebody With A Hidden Mechanism
All moms do this at some level, but an empath mom will be acutely aware of this – we nurture through emotional regulation.
Children seek emotional regulation through proximity, by getting close to us physically when they are distressed.
Our societal and cultural conditioning silently says – mothers must hold the atmosphere.
Yet, we were individuals before we had children, and we still are. So the healthy emotional regulation also becomes – where is my space for expression?
As highly sensitive or highly empathic people, if we don’t yet understand how to set energetic boundaries for our own space, our nervous system adapts in a costly way for our health. It continues to absorb emotions to stabilize the environment.
When we continue to absorb these energies over time, without opportunity or awareness to decongest ourselves, resentment can be the first sign that something is off. Yet often, as parents, socialization and family pressures prevent us from expressing this emotion in healthy ways, if at all.
Reframe Resentment
I’d like you to consider this energetic reframe: –
Resentment is not a negative emotion – it is stalled energy asking to move.
If we let resentment build, it can create health issues over time, starting with the autoimmune system being affected.
Resource: Black Moon Lilith Reading – Awakening Your Divine Feminine Learning to align with your Lilith Energy is about connecting with your unique genetic Keycode for radical self-permission.
Boundaries Are Not A Rejection Of Our Loved Ones
I firmly believe that part of our experience on Earth is to learn about ourselves through sensing other people in our lives as mirrors.
So when your child experiences something and mirrors it to you, as an empath mom, this act silently calls on your inner world and finds matches for your unresolved issues, as well as joys for your resonant ones. Energetically speaking, I see this as a law of physics.
If you are Highly Sensitive or empathic, you will feel this mirroring more than most. It’s easy to get overwhelmed – no one ever said parenting was going to be simple.
Yet, your child is not asking for you to take on their feelings and feel them for them. As people who have been socialized as empathic tuning forks, or who may have a genetic predisposition to sensitivity, it can be difficult to prevent that default response to others. Especially those we are nurturing.
Yet, if we want to grow as parents, learning how to mirror appropriately can help us, as well as our children, and pass on a good model of behavior for the next generation. As parents, we are always trying to do that.
Learning to set energetic boundaries as parents can help us to: –
- Let feelings move through us, and get released
- Stay more present with absorbing until overwhelm takes over
- Self-regulate through self-support
Resource: Seated EMF Balancing Free Remote Session. A simple way to reset your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.
Being An Empath Mom Is a Gift – Learn To Give That Gift To Ourselves
One decision you can make to help yourself as an Empath Mom is to set conscious energetic boundaries.
When we understand that we will always be attuned to empathy and learn to accept that, we then need to find appropriate ways to manage our growth as parents and as individuals on the spiritual journey.
Knowing when you can turn that tuning fork of empathy off and how will enable you to continue nurturing with less overwhelm and less energetic drain.
One of the first steps on this journey is to understand that we have all been conditioned by our families into the roles that we play in society.
Empath Moms – Our Unconscious Inheritance
Up until now, women have unconsciously inherited the role of being the carer without the opportunity to rest. As mothers, we have been called upon to serve others without receiving reciprocal care. We have been asked to become attuned to others’ needs as an unconscious role agreement, without our conscious consent.
Learning more about ourselves at the level of genetic self-awareness and behavioral understanding will not only help us to release resentment, but it will set better models for our children as future parents.
Making an inventory of what you are already doing well can help enormously, too. For example: –
- Are you able to pause before reacting?
- Name emotions that are yours, and which are not.
- Being able to allow your children to experience manageable friction for their growth.
- Redirecting absorbed energy into movement, breath, or structure.
What list of questions can you create to help you with overwhelm?
Strategizing and Empathy Can Meet With The Success Codex
This is an excerpt from Jane Austen’s Success Codex (yes, she of Pride and Prejudice fame!).
Jane Austen wrote about the difficulties women had with no income and the need to be married to be functional in society, long before we had the rights that we do now.
She used her Primary Genius of Ideas and being the Idea-Generator Archetype, plus her playful nature, to create characters and storylines that still amuse and enthrall us to this day.
If you are ready to delve a bit deeper into strategies for your Personal Energy, I love the Success Codex work for this. This could work well for you, too. We are not all Jane Austens, of course, but our empathic nature and sensitivity have enormous gifts hidden within, and the Success Codex can help with that.
You can also learn where you get stuck, blocked, or overwhelmed in your parenting approaches, so that you can work your way towards energetic alignment once again.
Resource: Learn About Your Success Codex (A less complex approach than Gene Keys or Human Design to help you align to your strategies for success in personal and professional life). Ask me for your free Success Codex chart.
Learn More About The Akashic Records Readings I Offer
One way to develop your empathic ability is to attune to your Akashic Records. This form of attunement expands the connection to your Soul through your Higher Self (also known as your intuition).
Your intuition will expand with Akashic Records work. The questions you have on the spiritual journey as an empath mom will be answered. It really helps you to connect the dots and to manage your empathic abilities better.
If you are interested in an Akashic Records Reading, I always recommend starting with the Soul Star Reading.
This reading gives you 3 different immersive experiences of the Akashic Records: –
- Connecting with your Divine Soul Blueprint (Soul-level gifts, talents, abilities).
- Hearing about a Past Life that contains a karmic pattern ready for clearing (you’ll recognize this pattern in your present life).
- Recognizing and clearing present life blocks and restrictions.
If you’d like to know about the different readings I offer on this site, start here>>
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21 Responses
Being an empath is something I struggle with daily. It is my biggest weakness, but when I am balanced, it is my biggest strength. Glad to know I am not alone in this struggle.
Liska xx
Liska
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Empaths feel so much! Yet we are here to heal and to help others heal also.
I’m working on balance and empowerment too!
Let’s keep at it.
Sarah
I am an empath and did not know what was “wrong” for sometime now. But i am healing from all the pain i have gone through from the past few years. Hoping me and my kids will really benefit from all that i am learning. I am only 22 yr. old a stay at home mom to 4 kids and a man who all say mommy is too sensitive 😔
I sent Kalia an email about this. I suggested she start with Dr Judith Orloff’s empath group on Facebook, to validate what she is going through. I suggested a few more steps and you’ll see them in a blog post soon!
Hi Sarah
I am an Empath also, but it wasn’t until I read this that I put two and two together! You are so totally right!!
I have two boys that love to challenge me and now I understand why I am so drained. I have been taking on board their emotions as my own. I guess as a Mum this is just so easy to do, because of course we want to love and nurture our children. I can see now the relationship Empathy and mothering have.
It has its benefits too, of course, because I know my babies so well. But I am now going to choose not to take on board emotions that I don’t need and regain the energy I’ve been lacking.
Namaste x
Jess
Hi Jesse
Happy to hear that this post resonates. I have felt a lot better since I have come to this realization. We can be energetic and still support our children too…in fact, it’s better for them to see us that way.
Woo hoo!
Sarah
Hi Sarah,
I am an emotional empath. My three sons test me everyday. I find that cutting psychic ties and clearing my energy field each morning and night has helped my energy levels profoundly. Being in nature also helps me release heavy energy.
Hi Rose
Thanks for commenting! Isn’t it interesting how energy work can even help us with family connections? Wishing you love n light on the journey with your sons.
Sarah
I came upon this as I look for solutions in taking on my 3yo’s energetic and constant attention demands, temper tantrums and mood swings. I am definitely an empath in need of guidance regarding how to put up those emotional boundaries so I don’t absorb hers! When I’ve had time to recharge my batteries, I’m much better at this, but what about the times when I just can’t recharge? (I have a helpful spouse but no other family, babysitters, neighbors, etc so sometimes recharging isn’t possible for awhile). Thanks so much for this article, it helps to just know I’m not alone!
I needed this. Motherhood was becoming too frustrating. Felt like all my family does is take, and take and take. Time to set boundaries.
I’m new to the knowledge that I’m an empath, I have found so much relief in finally finding an answer on whats “wrong” with me, however I’m having a hard time with finding it to be a gift, as everyone near me drains me, definitely my children. I’m wondering if anyone else has pushed their children away, as a defense mechanism. I feel so bad about being so emotionally detached from them, but it seems like I found that to be my escape from the draining emotions. I literally would rather not be around them than to be forced into complete drainage. I’m struggling. Their dad gets them a lot and of course I can pick up on their emotions when they’re with him still, but it seems to help when they aren’t physically present. Also, my oldest son is showing similar signs of being an empath and it literally drives me crazy dealing with him. One day he was at school and I picked him up and he said “mom, sometimes at school I hear you say my name”, and it just so happened that day, I spent a lot of time talking about him. I love my kids, please don’t mistake that but I’ve nearly managed to shut down emotions as a defense. Please tell me I’m not alone.
Hi Amanda
You are definitely not alone! My two kids were 17 months apart and I went through some time thinking I must not be cut out for motherhood with the amount of overwhelm I experienced. It’s tough on anyone moving from just managing the self in adulthood to parenthood as well. If you are empathic or Highly Sensitive or both, then it’s doubly hard. The truth is, as empaths, HSPs, sensitive intuitives, or energy workers (whatever you want to call our type) we do often get quite drained. It got to the point with me where my two understood that mom needed some break time to function. So that in my case was where the tv came in. Not all the time, but when I needed it. Thank goodness for Dora the Explorer! Yes, it’s possible you have children who are Indigo or Crystal kids (see pages at top of this site for definitions) and that is a whole lot more work too.
I’m not going to say it’s easy, because it isn’t. Three things you can start doing right away
1. Meditate daily, even for a few minutes. I found Autogenics to be a great help for energetic overwhelm. (Search for autogenics on this site, you’ll find the article).
2. Try some Flower Essences, such as Rescue Remedy (from any Health Food Store), for a week, and see if it helps. Us sensitives have a tendency to feel drained from the adrenals out because we can go into fight or flight more easily, too much adrenaline, and then we are drained.
3. Make sure you have somewhere you can go just to be quiet and feel the edges of your energy. Even if it’s hiding in the car, the garage…I go to the bathroom quite a bit, and not always to use it!
If you’d like further help, an Akashic Records Reading can help explain how things are for both you and your kids spiritually speaking. I’m also thinking it’s time for an online course for Empath Moms!
In the light
Sarah
I’m so incredibly relieved to read these things from other people. I am just beginning to learn about empaths and realizing that it all makes a lot of sense about who I am! I have 3 kids and 1 on the way. I love my kids. I think they are amazing human beings but they drain me! I feel on edge and chaotic being around them. I often need breaks from them to recharge my sanity(that’s what it feels like). There’s a ton of information out there about empaths. Where is a good place for me to start? I tend to get overwhelmed when so much info is available. Once again, I’m so thankful to have come across everyone’s stories and come to a realization that it might not be that I’m not cut out to be a mom after all!
I’m on the beginning of my journey of wondering if I’m a bit of an empath so all this is new to me. But a lot of it is making sense. I don’t fit all the empath traits but I definitely think I have a bit.
Recently I’m a ball of anxiousness in regards to my son and his emotions and I wonder if it’s partly cuz I’m taking them on.
Hi Bryony,
It can be tricky to figure out ‘whos stuff’ you are feeling when it comes to a child, our energy is already so enmeshed with theirs! First things first, what has happened recently that has made you more anxious about your son and his emotions. Children have to go through a fair few trials and tribulations as they grow. Empath moms and dads often do more than our fair share of helicoptering emotionally speaking. Make sure you are giving him emotional space and not projecting something from your past into him. Give yourself a breather, and check again. It’s possible that you are taking on his emotions. We do this to protect but the irony is we are not helping our children when we do this!
I was looking up “being an empath mom” because I am always exhausted, physically hurting, and irritable. I have a 14 month old who 10 minutes ago was thrashing about not letting me change her diaper, then when that was sorted she was finally happy but somehow tripped on her pant leg and went down face first. The sound of her cries and the physical resistance when she doesn’t want something literally fuses into my body. Then I decided it was time for her nap (Hence her over reacting), so we nurse which is more energy sucking, and she goes down. She won’t go to sleep and so I feel her resistance and frustration again. And so it goes on and on…
How do you be a mom as an empath? Especially to a baby who thinks you are a literal extension of them? She believes her sadness is my sadness too, just as much as I do. How do you protect yourself when you are actually woken up by her screams with zero time to protect against them?
Hi Ashley
Thank you for commenting. As an Empath, I know how painful child raising can be when we can feel every sob, scream and cry, as well as every wondrous chuckle, roll and cuddle, twice as much sometimes as a non-empath mom.
Here are three resources I promote for Empaths. I hope they help you. Perhaps it’s time I wrote a more expanded post for empath moms! http://momonaspiritualjourney.com/top-3-resources-for-empaths
I am really struggling with finding a balance in my home. I’m an empath also, and have found myself suffering from adrenal fatigue. I know times are hard for everyone, my… I’m reluctant to call him partner, my boyfriend and father of my children, is working from 7 am to 7 or 8 at night, so it feels like I’m alone and NEVER alone with my 2 and 1 yr old. I try to make the time to take care of myself, but it’s never a guarantee that I get it and I’m often overwhelmed and frustrated, and rather than being my naturally compassionate loving self I have become impatient, disconnected, resentful, and selfish with my time. When I’m sick I have no support system, and it ends up taking me longer to bounce back, and even longer to get back on schedule with the home-work. Ive developed trust issues with my self because of the lack of self care.
I have thought so many times it might be easier to do it all myself than to be expecting and support and being disappointed and then building on that already present resentment.
Holy cow Sarah. You hit in right on the nail. I just recently revisited how I am an empath and it could be the reason to all my inability to control my overwhelm and anxiety. I have been taking on all of my special needs childs’ emotions for 11 years now. Plus my 2.5 year olds’ tantrums and my husbands’ negativity and my mothers’ issues, my dads’ issues, my friends’ issues, my patients’ issues (I’m a nurse) and so on. Geez. I’m tired just writing this all out. Wow. now that I see it written, holy cow I have taken ALOT for WAY too long. Well, pretty much my whole life. Not just the last 11 years. Thank you for writing this article. It helps to know that I’m not alone and that being an empath and not taking care of myself has put me in my current situation. But with Gods’ help, I will move forward! 😀
Thepiiusedlhepoisedlife
Are you my daughter? I’m serious.
I’m an Empath, she seems to be going through (exactly) what you are and Ive already been there did that.
What goes on with her goes right straight to me. Everything emotional, pain, you name it.
Thank God not her sex life except when she feels guilty. Not the act but I know.
I wonder if she is because what you said told her story (and mine as far as that goes).
If she is, oh my what a vicious cycle, and I don’t know what to do about it.
If she’s not, she’ll tag me ” batsh**crazy”,,,,again and again I don’t know what to do about it because my own pain is eating me alive.
I’m scared to tell her about me and i don’t know how to check if she is.
For heavens sake I’m a psychotherapist. Wowser that’s a whole ‘nother trip on its own!
She’s paranoid about being around me alone because she knows I can practically read her mind.. Always have,
I don’t blame her! Now what?
I am an empath and so are my kids and husband. Not sure how this happened lol. It’s a crazy life. We figured out a bit ago however this week..it’s come.to face. Unfortunately I can’t hide my emotions or feelings as my whole family absorb it and I absorb theirs. It’s awful. I haven’t been able to work because as soon as stress happens I can’t function but worst my family gets sick and they don’t function. One son can’t leave my house the other is possibly getting rashes. One is quiet the other explosive. It’s been an interesting week. And it’s calming down as I am trying to tell my boss I can’t continue. I feel like. I have to be a robot. No extreme emotions at all which I am. Tired of trying to hide. I am.allowed to be happy if I want.but not to happy because my family can’t handle it. We are learning to deal but without an income for.me it’s hard to be able to do extra things.every time I get a job this happens. I love my kids I empathize with them and I know what they need. It’s hard to take care of myself though which I have been told repeatedly I need. I try to take time for myself I have been learning to play the harp but only renting it. This job was going to allow me to buy oNE. For.me it’s helped me.stay grounded and alive. I also know my kids can’t handle school so I have wanted to homeschooling them but haven’t yet. As long as the house is calm they make it but if it’s not calm that’s it.lol ahhh. Sorry thanks for listening. I hate being unreliable but family comes first.