My sensitive children – in my opinion, in my experience…
I’m going to start this post with a great quote from one of my favorite judges on the tv series The Good Wife. Don’t know if you follow that series but there is a judge on there that all the lawyers do much better with if they start and end their arguments with the phrase ‘In my opinion…’.
It’s a great line and a fun way to point out (in my opinion!) that life is all a matter of perspective. So, when I talk about sensitive children here, if you start to think of your own children and the odd button gets pressed – because this is an emotional subject – please remember that this article is simply ‘in my opinion’.
My two girls and their sensitivities
When children are really sensitive, their sensitivities can be perceived in a number of ways.
In my case raising my children so far…I’ve gone through the gamut of disbelief, ignoring the issues, trying to deal with the issues in ways that don’t work, sometimes because they were easier, and sometimes because I was desperate (because their issues made me very tired and impatient) and, over time, figuring out a lot of the issues, many after the event. This could also apply to parenthood in general, I suppose! 🙂
So, where I am today with my children and my understanding of them is that my 9 year old girl is
- extremely physically sensitive to textures of clothing and environmental chemicals
- sensitive to emotional/psychic energies and extremely clairvoyant/clairaudient (clear ‘seeing’, clear ‘hearing’ in a psychic sense)
- Can’t eat foods of certain textures, they make her gag, doesn’t like food to touch other food on the plate, many foods will just not make it down her throat, they do not compute!
- prone to crying bitterly when she is overtired
- is a polarity responder*.
She is also a wonderful, sensitive, aware person who balances the energies of people around her without even thinking about it! Her latest fun thing to do is to read Japanese Manga comics, because ‘it makes my brain run backwards’.
My 7 – soon to be 8 – year old is
- extremely allergic to tree nuts, fairly allergic to ground nuts and soy
- a harmonizer with people rather than choosing to ‘go against the grain’, sometimes to her detriment
- merges effortlessly with nature as soon as she goes outside
- feels people’s emotions intensely and hates unfairness (highly empathic)
- has had visions and experiences with other entities since she was able to speak (and probably before…but couldn’t talk about it!)
She is also a loving, connected child who loves to be home with family, helping me out around the house and is currently learning and enjoying origami. (Hmmnn, suddenly noticing a Japanese theme, here).
In this post I’m also going to avoid the majority of labeling…such as conditions, issues and behaviourial stereotyping. I will however explain one label which comes from my personal development experience with the Mythoself™ Process, that of ‘polarity responder’. A polarity responder is somebody who is ‘hard wired’ to respond ‘against’ something, or to move away from something, as opposed to wanting to harmonize or ‘move towards’ something. At a very general neurological level…people either ‘move towards’ or ‘away from’.
So how to raise a child with one of these natures? (‘In my opinion’, a 9 year old Indigo and a 7 year old Crystal) I know, I know, two more labels…
Just like any form of parenting – a heck of a lot of hard work…and much more than I expected or thought (also, just like any form of parenting). But that sentence is probably not much help, but at least it’s some validation.
Here’s 3 basic things I’ve always done and it’s always helped.
- Especially with my 9 year old, watch out for over-stimulation and cut social visits short and keep after-school activities to a minimum. In the early days if I didn’t do this the lack of awareness of her needs on my part would result in a 45 minute crying session including flailing arms and hands at the end of the day…a good reminder to stay aware. My younger daughter would either put herself to bed or simply ‘shut down’ if she’s had enough (still true to this day).
- As Oprah Winfrey says, “Media is a diet”, so I watch their ‘diet’. All cable TV has channel controls in place (thank you, dear hubby – he figured it out) and locks down at 9pm (summertime bedtime). I have to be extra careful what they watch or absorb. Callie had nightmares from the Epic Mickey Wii game…and recently slept for the month following with a lamp on in her bedroom. No cell phone access (subject for another blog post with what is happening regards latest research). Time limits on computer games and Wii games (the less scary ones). I’ve noticed Callie gets flushed checks within half an hour of working on a PC and both the girls get argumentative when they play the Wii for too long.
- Teach them tools to manage their energy. Both girls seem to understand the nature of energy when I explain meditation exercises, yoga exercises and relaxation. Callie does much better and is more focused when she meditates in the morning. Arianna likes to pray at night and both have enjoyed choosing a crystal to put by their beds. So much more to teach them, but it’s a start!
A couple of products that have been lifesavers…both for myself and for them
There are many good books out there about ‘sensitive children’, ‘Indigos’, ‘Crystals’ or simply ‘children of the new age’. I have read 4 of the books on this list…will need to review them in another post! I have mentioned these books to many other moms who have found them enlightening and helpful to read. Here’s the book list, just press the scroll button with your mouse to spin them.
And sometimes…it’s as simple as socks!
Callie has body sensitivity…this may wear off over time but initially socks with seams used to make her literally weep and hit at her toes when trying to fit them in any shoe. 15 minutes would go by every morning before we were out the door.
Somebody mentioned seamless socks and my husband (lifesaver) again managed to find a great company…Therawear, who produce all sorts of seamless socks and undies, and pressure wear, for various conditions. Peace has reigned in our house since the socks made their way into Callie’s wardrobe. Thank goodness…sometimes, just sometimes, helping out sensitive children really is just that simple.
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