Forgiveness – how can we make it easier?
When we have been wronged in some way, forgiveness can be the last thing we want to feel.
Yet forgiveness is (sometimes) the act that the person who has wronged us most wants us to engage in!
What to do, and how to make the process of forgiveness easier?
Should we ‘forgive and forget?’
Is it best to be compassionate in all situations to free ourselves from the bind of unforgiveness, or is it better to forgive everyone unconditionally?
I am currently struggling with forgiveness in a particular personal relationship, so this chat was of particular interest to me.
If you struggle with forgiveness, or perhaps even are not sure how to go about it…then you may find some answers here or in the references below.
Several people consider the nature of Forgiveness in Spiritchat
The chat was co-hosted this week by Sharon Kathryn D’Agostino, (Twitter handle @AwakeningTrue).
What I have done here is listed the main questions and my answers.
Usually what happens is that my Akashic Guides start popping in and giving me information which expands the answers, which is why I am posting them here.
If you’d like to see the full chat on Twitter, head over to #SpiritChat.
Some deep questions on Forgiveness, how it can feel, and how to forgive ourselves
Q1. What feelings do the words “The Freedom of Forgiveness” evoke in your heart and mind?
Forgiveness can be – the letting go of a binding around the heart – a shift in perception – beginning a new path.
All of those are feelings of freedom
Q2. Why is it often easier for us to forgive others than to forgive ourselves?
Learning and growth are not achieved in isolation.
Sometimes we need to see ourselves mirrored in others so that we can…see ourselves.
Perhaps when we forgive others we gain outer clarity and can ‘reflect’ that on our own internal world.
How to release guilt from past actions?
Q3. What would you say to encourage someone who is carrying a personal burden of guilt for something done long ago
Ask all the questions that need to be asked, first check with the filter you are viewing it through.
The ‘meta’ or higher perspective is best (Soul Level), if not possible then make sure you reflect from a positive place or state of mind
When you have shifted the filter, you will be viewing the guilt from a different perspective.
It’s easy to walk the same old paths and feel the same old emotions, our brains know how.
To shift is the true challenge.
Q4 “Forgive and forget” is usually easier said than done. How can we make forgiving/forgetting easier?
I like Iyanla Vanzant’s way.
She suggests one without the other (forgive, but forgetting not required).
How else can we learn from the experience and move on with a good frame of reference?
Does Forgiveness need to be ‘official’ or can we do it energetically?
Q6 (not sure what happened to question 5!) Is it necessary to contact those we wish to forgive… via a visit, call, letter… or can we forgive them “in our hearts”?
If it is safe to do so, and won’t cause us more trauma or difficulty in the doing.
I like the EMF Balancing Technique model, where we recalibrate our energy with another, physics does the rest. They may notice in some way, if not, all good
Q7. What can we do if (in spite of our asking) someone refuses to forgive us?
In the refusal, is an experience.
If we can move through any hurt created and reflect on the reasons for the refusal, we may find logic and reasons from that person’s perspective.
That’s their process, not ours (and an eternal challenge!).
Which hurts may be too big to forgive?
Q8. Are some hurts too “big” to forgive? Why or why not? (Any personal experiences you are willing to share?)
I like the Akashic Guides’ perspective received from my first teacher.
“In this life or the next 1,000, it’s OK either way”.
This isn’t letting ourselves off the hook, it’s knowing that we are part of a bigger picture and accepting that fact.
Then we can find release in the bigger picture, knowing we do not yet understand, but will, either in this life or another.
That, in my experience, can result in release and healing, and forgiveness perhaps
Some extra questions to ask yourself about Forgiveness
These questions came up in the discussion from (Trish @WonderPix)
Did you learn the lesson?
Will you do the same thing again?
Is it helping our hurting you to keep revisiting it?
Nora Rahimian also had this say, which I thought was beautiful
How to forgive: Remember that what people do is rooted in their own history & trauma.
Practice compassion for the parts of them that were hurt that taught them how to be hurtful.
Do the things you need to do to heal yourself.