There was a girl who grew up thinking she was unhappy.
She saw unhappiness around her and thought it was hers. She thought the way others lived was how she was supposed to live, that there were no other choices.
After all, everyone else’s brain worked that way, so why not hers?
So she grew up and lived as others did, calling it ‘reality’.
Sometimes there were breaks from reality where she perceived other different ideas, thoughts, and emotions that didn’t seem to fit with the fabric of ‘reality’.
Sometimes these different ideas, thoughts, and emotions resulted in increased feelings of happiness for the girl, sometimes, they made her sad, too, and her body felt heavy.
In either case, she had no idea where these thoughts, ideas, and emotions came from.
They seemed to bear no relation to her concept of structured reality, the thoughts in her head that were inherited, regular and serene. Well, they seemed to be serene because they were so familiar and everybody thought these thoughts, didn’t they?
This inherent sense that the inherited thoughts, ideas, and emotions were what everyone thought, lead to an idea that those thoughts were good. After all, didn’t everyone think them, therefore the must think that, too?
For many, many years the girl thought those thoughts, lived those ideas and felt those emotions.
She lived and for the most part, thrived. Sometimes, she had periods of life when something else happened. Often, these periods of different happenings were short, briefly plagued by thoughts of an unusual nature. These thoughts seemed to pop in all by themselves.
Sometimes these periods of unusual thoughts, ideas and emotions lasted longer than two weeks.
The girl continued to be attached to the familiar thoughts, usual ideas, and well-used emotions while experiencing a seemingly parallel set of thoughts, ideas, and emotions that seemed to flow in from another world. This world seemed purely internal in nature (at least, that is how the girl thought of it, felt it, labeled it) and she began to be aware that this world cropped up in her conscious mind in a continuous and regular cycle.
At other times, having to manage this internal world, as well as her external world, tipped her off balance, and, as mentioned previously, she felt unhappy. Sometimes the unhappiness expanded enough that she didn’t want to continue to function within her previously inherited sets of thoughts, ideas, and emotions. Yet she felt trapped and in her structured reality had nowhere else to go.
So often during these periods of seemingly dual reality, she decided either to just allow the internal reality to have its’ way with her, to ‘rage’, if you like. Often this involved spending periods of time disconnected or disassociated from her ‘normal’ reality.
Most of the time she could function like this and never once did she mention this ‘secondary’ or internal reality to others.
Sometimes she thought she was the only one. At other times, during listening to music, a song, or even attending concerts, watching a dancer or enjoying art, she felt that the secondary reality might be greater than her — even — and that others could feel it too…..
These energetic potentials spoke to her of a better life, where both realities could work in tandem, perhaps creating a third and better, more whole, reality for her. Instinctively, she knew that both previous realities would not, in the long run of her life, sustain her.
So she began her quest.