The cold hard ugly truth about spirituality

cold hard ugly truth

The cold hard ugly truth about spirituality

There is a lot written by myself and many others about our spiritual awakening here on the planet, how to grow spiritually and how to develop our self-awareness and mindfulness.

These are all wonderful practices and have great value in life.

There are some cold hard ugly truths about spirituality, too, however.

Not so much about the practice itself, but more about the results you may find yourself having as you progress on the spiritual journey.

As M. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled

“Life is not fair, but people can choose to be.”


Friends and relations will fall away as vibration and awareness shifts

I have heard this from many people on the journey and have experienced it myself.

Luckily I still have some good friends from long ago who are still stepping along on the journey with me.

It’s true, though. If you take the spiritual path, it’s highly likely that you will lose friends and possibly outlaw yourself from family.

There are worse reasons to become the black sheep I suppose.

From your family’s perspective they might believe you have either completely lost it or are going against years of tradition or family history – and in some ways, you may well be doing exactly that!

The upside of this hard truth is that you will make many new friends along the way and possibly end up with a whole new concept of what family really is.

I have always loved this quote and am not quite sure where it comes from.

“You may meet people, but you will recognize friends”.

One of my latest mentors looks at this way

“Family is behavior, not blood”.


You will gain great insight into people’s motivations for good – or bad

It’s a fact that on the spiritual journey one of the coldest and hardest ugly truths is that you will grow your awareness of other people’s motivations and inner workings.

This is because you are becoming more embodied and not just living in your head.  Sometimes the openings from this perspective can seem overwhelming – the spiritual version of Too Much Information!

The aha moments will come thick and fast as you realize why a certain person has acted a certain way – and it’s nothing to do with their interest, support or possibly love for you, sad to say.

This is a really tough one to deal with. I believe spiritually we go through these experiences to wake us up to our own intuition and to remind us that the soul is with us all along.

If we can choose to see things from the Soul level we will realize that a lot of our perceptions are related to projection.

Projecting our wants, needs, and desires onto others, we fill in their gaps for them — whatever those gaps may be.

Focusing on our own needs and side-stepping responsibility, we choose to get what we would like out of a situation by not being real.

A better way is to make the choice to grow and evolve.

Then comes the fateful day when we refocus on our own spiritual path once again and expand our vibration.

This changes our picture of our world all of a sudden.

In our relationships, we begin to see the dynamics as they really are and not as we would like them to be.

We see from a higher level of awareness that we are now able to maintain because of our soul expansion work.

Before we could only view the world from the mirror of our own projections.

This can often be referred to as a paradigm shift or spiritual awakening.  It’s a game changer for sure.

As dear Maya Angelou always said

“When somebody shows you who they are – believe them”.


Sometimes we have to do a lot of work on ourselves before we can truly believe!


The way you view the planet will never be the same again

I remember the first paradigm shift I had.

At age 13 I read one of Gloria Steinem’s books (I was an early reader and my parents let me read almost anything I could get within reason).

I read about certain parts of the world where women were circumcised and even had their genitals sewn up before marriage as a form of enforced chastity.

That was a huge shift for me.

I suddenly realized that the world was not as friendly a place for women as I thought it was.

This shift will keep happening to you in one way or another on the spiritual journey.

Many of us are in group paradigm shifts so at least we are able to hold each other up.

Some examples of current group paradigm shifts are



You will meet narcissists or maybe even realize that you are narcissistic in some way

There’s been a lot of talk on the internet about the Empath and narcissist dynamic.

The ‘narc’ is out there and seen as preying on Empaths.

The two personality types have a natural attraction to each other and create a symbiotic relationship more damaging to the Empath than the narcissist.

I do believe this dynamic exists and that an open and a caring person can be drawn in by another person to do their bidding (especially if somebody has a borderline personality disorder or is an extreme narcissist).

This is really, really tough. Perhaps this time in history is our time to wake up to this unbalanced power dynamic.

In my experience, a lot of this has to do with generational energy, specifically patriarchal energy

When I was younger I was fairly self-involved and interested in developing my career fully and earning as much money as I possibly could. I was immersed in the energy of the ’80s and was not interested in anything else.

So you could say I have been a narcissist too.

If we become parents, we need to work on our own emotional development, otherwise, we may spend our days holding back on expressing our emotions or blocking our own personal growth in order to just be there for our children.

In reality, the lessons are much more multi-dimensional than this.

Let’s just say though the adventures heading towards energy balance so that we neither give nor receive too much can be a very painful and tortuous journey.


You can never go back

It’s true. Just like Joseph Campbell’s hero’s myth, or Lissa Rankin’s heroine’s journey, we can never go back once the changes are made.

Just like Luke Skywalker can never farm or work in a junkyard again, we cannot lose our new perspectives and experiences gained on the spiritual journey.

We have changed, the river is no longer just a river, the valley is no longer just the valley.

We come bearing gifts, no matter how painful, hard, cold and ugly the truth is, we are living it now and the gifts change our perception completely.

About Sarah Lawrence

Do you ever wonder where all of your energy goes even though you are sensitive and intuitive? Do you feel tired and drained sometimes and wonder if someone is hijacking your energy? Through the consciousness stream of the Akashic Records, learn how to call your chi back, create a strong internal framework and become the energetic master that you know you really are. Reconnect with better ways to use your sensitivity and intuition. The hijack stops here! Connect on Skype at 'NewWorldEnergetics' or call 1-316 247 4144


  1. Great post Sarah! Love the quote about friends. I’ve experienced this on my own journey, but I would consider that the pros outweigh the cons in my own personal experience. The insights we receive on humanity and this planet can be shocking and disheartening at first, but I would say, again from personal experience, that living the spiritual life and continuing on one’s path through whatever practice one does, compassion, empathy, non attachment, and sublime appreciation for the unity of it all flowers in a flash and the more that underlying unity comes to the forefront, the quicker we forgive others’ blindness and inabilities and more importantly our own shortcomings as well – I’m speaking from that place of unity of course but on a moment to moment level, that practice continues!

    • Hi Delson, thanks for taking the time and trouble to comment. This post is getting a lot of reads so I’m glad it’s hit a chord for people. I agree, it’s a tough journey but so worth the battles because of the Grace we gain. In the light!

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  4. I would say perusing your interests whole-heartedly in different than narcissism. Real narcissists intend to keep others small so they can feel powerful, strong, and have a consistent place to unleash their anger. I do think people think the spiritual journey is all rosy and joyful. My experience has been that at a certain level it is. You no longer respond to the negative or you feel it, name it, and make an effort to work with it from as healthy a place as you can muster at that point in the journey. This can actually feel really good! Truth be told……you don’t really wanna go back. You can never go back anyway, spiritual journey or not.

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