Karma – it can be caused by emotional cowardice
Sometimes during my spiritual work, I get ‘flash’ insights, something that just comes in whole form as a download or a clairsentient thought. This thought came in surrounding the issue of karma and karmic acts.
On the way to school the other day I was listening to the local radio station. They have this feature on there called ‘Couple’s court’, where a couple has a disagreement, each partner’s viewpoint is aired via a short telephone call and then listeners call in and vote with their opinions.
This week a divorced couple had a disagreement about how to deal with the death of their six-year-old son’s goldfish. The couple has joint custody of their son.
The father kept the goldfish at his house (aka Twinkie) and it had died. He didn’t want to tell his son and simply wanted to replace the goldfish to avoid hurting the child.
The mother was of the opposite opinion. She thought their son was old enough to start learning a simple life lesson in the shape of losing a pet – Twinkie had died and it would be a good time to start experiencing the death of a (very small) loved one.
Various callers chimed in, many believing it would be better to replace the goldfish and avoid hurt. One psychotherapy professional called in and said it would be good to tell the child so he could learn and experience personal growth.
What would you do?
My view is that preventing hurt in the short term can create greater hurt in the longer term. What if the son found out later what had happened from another family member? How might he feel about that?
What if he saw that the goldfish was different the minute he arrived at his dad’s house? Then his dad would be caught in a lie and more explaining to do.
I believe not telling the truth in this kind of situation can demonstrate the worst kind of emotional cowardice. It’s an emotionally painful journey raising children, not many people will say that to new parents but it’s true.
We’d rather not see our children in pain because we feel it so, so deeply. Yet they must feel pain in order to grow. If we prevent them from feeling they pain they need to grow because we don’t want to feel their pain then it’s karma on us.
Children need to grow up prepared to deal with emotional pitfalls
Whether we like it or not, parenting responsibility covers that particular circle of life too.
So when a goldfish dies, tell your child. Help support a child through their first grieving process, create a goldfish funeral or whatever kind of tribute they would like.
Don’t block, stuff or stop their grief. It’s karma on you if you stunt their emotional growth and problematic for them later in life.
It’s time to realize that emotional cowardice on our part creates karma.