Everything Happens For A Reason – Or Does It, Really?
When things get tough, we often say everything happens for a reason to comfort ourselves – but what does it mean in reality?
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Does Everything Really “Happen for a Reason”?
“Everything happens for a reason.”
It’s usually said with good intent, to soothe, to make sense of the senseless.
And sometimes, it does help.
But often, when we say or even believe it, we miss an opportunity for deeper awareness.
Does Everything Really Happen for a Reason—Or Is It Karma?
The subtext of that phrase deserves a closer look. Why do we say it? And what does it imply to the person hearing it?
It’s easy to conflate “everything happens for a reason” with karma.
One essence of karma can be described as our thoughts defining our decisions.
When we act on our thoughts, we manifest them into the physical world—setting off a chain reaction of consequences. That’s one lens through which to understand karma.
Yet, some aspects of karmic behavior unfold far beyond what we can see or predict.
Some Types of Karma Are Self-Sabotage
Take, for example, my father. He was a heavy smoker, smoking sixty cigarettes a day at one point.
When he began smoking, no one really understood how harmful it could be. In his generation, smoking was a marker of maturity. Movie stars and public figures did it; it looked sophisticated.
From a karmic perspective, he couldn’t have known what would come of that habit, because the true risks to health were hidden from people by the manufacturers.
But later in life, when the evidence was clear and he was facing multiple health issues, he chose to keep smoking. That choice, made with awareness of the risks, carried its own cause and effect.
He could have changed course and allowed new understanding to reshape his habits, but he didn’t. And the consequences followed.
That’s karma in action, or what we might also call the Law of Cause and Effect.
“Everything Happens for a Reason” — or Could It Be Intuition?
Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity in the 1920s, suggesting that meaningful coincidences arise from underlying patterns within the interconnected field of consciousness that links us all.
Becoming aware of synchronicity helps us notice these patterns as they appear.
If you’re developing your intuition, pay attention to the conditions around your intuitive hits, when someone calls just after you’ve thought of them, or when repeating numbers or symbols appear throughout your day.
These moments are indicators that you’re in a different state of mind.
Learning to notice them, especially as they happen, is a key to strengthening intuitive awareness.
So… Does Everything Happen for a Reason?
I prefer to think not—at least not in the oversimplified way that phrase suggests.
We do live in a causal universe, where one thing can influence another.
If we’re mindful of karma, we become more conscious of our thoughts, choices, and actions. Mindfulness can help us shape outcomes with greater intention.
If we remain present, we can also notice synchronicities—the subtle alignments that reveal how interconnected we really are.
In those moments of awareness, we open ourselves to the guidance of collective consciousness, discerning patterns that can inform wise action.
So, I tend to avoid the phrase “everything happens for a reason.”
It feels too neat, or too sloppy, even, for the complex, interwoven reality we live in.
Our universe deserves language that reflects its depth, not just its convenience.
Learn More About The Akashic Records Readings I Offer
One way to grow your intuitive awareness is to begin to work with your Akashic Records. This expands the connection to your Soul through your Higher Self (aka your intuition).
If you are interested in an Akashic Records Reading, I always recommend starting with the Soul Star Reading.
This reading gives you 3 different immersive experiences of the Akashic Records: –
- Connecting with your Divine Soul Blueprint (Soul-level gifts, talents, abilities).
- Hearing about a Past Life that contains a karmic pattern ready for clearing (you’ll recognize this pattern in your present life).
- Recognizing and clearing present life blocks and restrictions.
If you’d like to know about the different readings I offer on this site, start here>>
7 Responses
Agreed, it is too sloppy to say this. Same thing about “You must have chosen this reality if you are experiencing it.” As if our conscious MIND was in charge of choosing. Which is not always, indeed, probably not often the case. Great article Sarah. <3
Hi Candace
Thanks for commenting! I do believe it’s a good idea to examine some of the mysterious sayings we discover on the spiritual journey, then they can serve us better.
Lots of light backatcha
Sarah
Wonderful post Sarah. I agree that it is too sloppy to say this. Unless we come from a space of real consciousness and are able to take responsibility for our life we cannot say that everything happens for a reason. We can most definitely learn from our past and take those lessons going forwards. I do know that when I rush and I am not fully present I normally trip up on the pavement. I also think that this phrase can be used as a way to control people (I think I have been reading too many posts about so called ‘Gurus’). xx
Hi Priya!
Glad you enjoyed it. Becoming more mindful as you say is all part of the journey. Yes! Control! I like it. Consider that controlling people is a way to control personal feelings, too. Perhaps discomfort does not want to be looked at, so talking in generaLIESations like this will block out the discomfort for the speaker.
Lots of light
Sarah
Thank you for this, Sarah. My dear cousin lost her infant son to SIDS and was/ is devastated. When would-be supporters consoled her by saying, “everything happens for a reason,” she felt rage, desperate to understand what possible reason there could there be. It made no sense. What karma, what lesson, what purpose could there be???
While death is, of course, a natural progression of life, a grief-stricken parent is not comforted by that cold reminder.
How can we say what we mean better, respond to this statement better, or should we steer clear of pat responses that aim to ease what cannot be eased?
With love and gratitude, Karen 🙂
Hi Karen,
I do understand your cousin’s response and I am so sorry to hear of her loss. As you know, I have lost a child too. When a parent loses a child, it’s akin to having a large part of that person’s insides scraped out and removed, leaving a gaping hole. A parent has to continue to manage life with that constant reminder, plus other daily triggers. So, what to say, how to help?
I know for me, two of the most annoying and enraging phrases were ‘Everything happens for a reason’ (as discussed), and ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through’. Both are meant to be kind but do not help in the present. Sometimes I felt like saying after the 25th person saying “I can’t imagine”, “Just be glad you don’t have to imagine!”
If it was me, what I would want to hear is a genuine “I’m so sorry. If you want, you can tell me about it. If you don’t want to talk about it right now, is there anything practical I can do to help in the moment?” (Load the dishwasher, run an errand, bring them food, call them weekly). They may want to come back to you on that and if they do, commit and follow up when they do. When a year has passed by, a lot of people silently seem to agree that it’s time for a parent to move on, or in fact, anyone who has suffered the loss of a Loved One. Move on from what? Their child will always be gone. There will always be lost opportunities, lost life, endless birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases to get through. Parents ultimately find ways to heal somewhat from their loss but the grieving is a lifetime task and never goes away. Nor would parents want the grieving to leave, because they will always love their child, so they will always grieve the loss.
If a person is too overwhelmed to help in the sight of so much naked pain, then it’s best not to try. Over time, maybe they can think of other ways to help. There will always be more bad days, more grieving to do, so helpers will have plenty of opportunities to try again.
I hope that helps, and thank you for opening the window to this discussion. I wish the best for your cousin on her journey of loss. Remember, at some point she will heal, but she will always grieve.
Lots of love and light
Sarah
Thanks so much, Sarah. I AM so very sorry for your loss. I appreciate your willingness to share.
I’m sure at some point, I’ve uttered both of those phrases. I endeavor to be more conscious and less trite.
In the 17 years Justin has been gone, my cousin, her other children, (and me, sometimes) have celebrated his birthday by taking a trip or releasing balloons. We openly talk about how much we miss him, how sad we are that he didn’t get to experience the things we love to do. We call him our guardian angel when bad situations turn out well.
I understand that she really, really doesn’t want to “get over it,” to forget him, nor for anyone to forget about him. So, we celebrate when we can and cry when we must. I try to be present.
Wishing you love and light on you journey, too, my sister.
Karen 🙂