I was fortunate enough to read this book around Christmas time – Peace from broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant.
Iyanla relates the story of her childhood and life as a woman – and how being treated as unworthy as a child and being sexually abused affected her life and her children’s lives as they were growing up also.
If your family patterns have been difficult or you don’t feel in touch with your broken pieces, then I highly recommend this book – it’s not an easy read, but a deep one.
One of concepts I really like about this part of Iyanla’s work is how she uses her family’s history to shed light on the nature of family pathology.
What is family pathology?
Think of family pathology as unhelpful or damaging behavior that a child experiences, which then gets passed down to the next generational member of the family. Here are three examples to give you a hook to hang this on.
- Saying one thing and doing another is one form of family pathology. A parent may say ‘We don’t lie in this house’ and then go on to lie about something repeatedly, which the child will sense on an energetic level and be constantly shown the mismatch in behavior versus what is actually said. A form of lying in itself…
- Repeating patterns of abuse based on the abuse received from a previous generation is another example. E.g. beating a child when they have misbehaved, perhaps even using the same implement or approach that the abuser’s parent used.
- Having a knee-jerk response and being unaware of causing distress to any children present. A parent is unaware that something triggers them, will scream and shout about it, then carry on about their business as if everything is absolutely normal. The child may experience distress at this outburst, but also get the message ‘this behavior is completely normal, it’s okay to be triggered and unaware and then we go about our business’.
Given this frame, I’m quite sure many readers on this list would be able to start listing their own family’s pathological patterns – or be able to observe these kinds of patterns in other families or group behavior.
Perhaps you have heard this one – Children do as you DO, not what you SAY
It’s uncomfortably true. Children are our best mirrors and as a result, our best teachers. From staying in the moment to questioning our behavior, they are there for us.
In my family, one of the patterns of family pathology was to have a strong emotional reaction to something, but not discuss it.
In one of her teaching videos, Iyanla Vanzant describes this as ‘There’s an ‘alligator’ chewing the leg off the living room table, but everyone chooses to ignore it and talk about the weather‘.
Perhaps there’s a huge family elephant in the room…the child sees it! If the child mentions what they are feeling, sensing and ‘knowing’ through their body awareness, often they are shut down and told to remove themselves from the room.
In my house, if I ‘gave voice’ to the elephant, I had to leave the room and go to my room and have the experience by myself – an effective punishment which in the long run turned me into an observer and not a commenter. Why comment if it’s only going to get me in trouble?
Now there are all sorts of reasons for this kind of group behavior, some of them valid. When it leaves a child confused and isolated without an explanation, though – the result is a broken piece of that child.
The Akashic Records help to identify ancestral patterns
From my recent study in learning to read the Akashic Records, I see a connection here in how we are taught to assist people with a reading surrounding a family issue or problem and the issue of family pathology as defined by Iyanla Vanzant.
In the Akashic Records work we can help the client to identify an ancestral pattern, defined as ‘a behavioral pattern we can name’.
Three examples of ancestral patterns from the viewpoint of the Akashic Records are:-
- Self-sabotage. E.g. compulsive overeating, addiction, or some other kind of self-limiting behavior.
- Self-doubt. A lack of belief in the power of the self.
- Controlling behavior. Abuse of power over others so that the perpetrator feels bigger – at least for a while – and the other(s) feel diminished.
Again, looking at life through this lens, I’m sure many readers on this list could quite quickly identify ancestral patterns in their own line or in other family groups in their life.
How to help identify and potentially heal family pathology and ancestral patterns?
Someone like Iyanla Vanzant uses very powerful counseling and energetic tools to help identify and have people do the work of healing their family pathology if it is causing them pain or distress or holding them back.
Within the Akashic Records work, if a client has a family problem then more often than not, ancestral patterns are involved and sometimes even Past Lives.
An Akashic Records reader can help the client to open their Records and have them ask the difficult questions, such as ‘Why did my father always____________?’ Or ‘What was my mother thinking when she_____________?’ Often the Akashic Records will offer up deeper insight on the nature of the ancestral pattern, when it started and why it has manifested in the client’s life…or even in the lives prior to the client’s current life.
I am learning to overcome my family pathology and ancestral patterns – it takes a lot of work – first to accurately identify them and secondly to clear the energy around them and heal any broken pieces. I believe my children are worth it.
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