Does everything really happen for a reason?

Personal Growth through the Akashic Records, Past Lives, Human Design and more with Sarah Lawrence

Does everything really happen for a reason?

everything happens for a reason

Does everything really ‘happen for a reason’?

Something happens, and people try to comfort the person by saying

Everything happens for a reason.

The above phrase or social nicety is intended to have someone feel better.

In some situations, this phrase may feel comforting.  Often however, byy saying this or even believing it to be true, an opportunity is lost for deeper awareness.

Everything really happens for a reason – or is it karma?

The subtext of ‘everything happens for a reason‘ needs to be examined.

Why just say this to someone unless we understand what might be inferred.   What might this phrase trigger in their mind?

It can be easy to mix up the ‘everything…’ phrase with the results of karma.

One essence of karma can be defined as our thoughts defining our decisions.

When we decide to do something we make our thoughts manifest into action.  As a result, this then sets off a chain reaction of occurrences.  This is one definition of karma.

Some aspects of karma are outside of our ability to see or understand what the results could possibly be

As an example of this, my dad was a very heavy smoker (60 a day guy at one point).

When he started smoking, no-one knew how harmful it could be, it was just something people did.  In his era, you smoked if you wanted to appear very mature as a man.   Smoking a pipe or cigarette added to your adult self-image because the movie stars and tv stars did it.

From the perspective of creating karma, he couldn’t have known at that time what was going to happen.

When he got older and started having multiple health issues, research and science on the effects of smoking was much more up to date.

People knew that it could be detrimental to a person’s health, but he kept on smoking, and it made him very sick.  So that part of the story could more accurately be described as karma.

He was aware of new thoughts on the risk of being a smoker but didn’t allow them to affect his decisions, so he got sick.  He didn’t allow the new thoughts in so that they could redefine his actions, and he became very unwell.  There was a very specific reason that he could have stopped by changing his habits, but he chose not to.

You could also call this the Law of Cause and Effect.

Everything happens for a reason – it could be synchronicity

Carl Jung first coined this word in the 1920s, believing that synchronicity occurs as the result of underlying patterns in the group network, or lattice of consciousness that ties us all together.

Becoming mindful of synchronicity can enable us to become more mindful and learn to notice patterns as they occur.

For example, if you are learning to develop your intuition, then notice the conditions surrounding the times when you get powerful intuitive hits, like somebody calling you on the phone a few minutes after you thought about them, or seeing repeating signs or symbols such as the 11:11 as you go through your day.

These are signs that you are in a different state of mind, noticing this afterward, or even better as it happens, is one of the keys to learning how to develop your intuition.

So does everything happen for a reason?

I prefer to think not.  I like to believe we are in a causal universe, for sure, where one thing can affect another.

If we are mindful of karma, then we can become more mindful of our thoughts, choices, and actions.  This will help us to help influence intended outcomes for the better.

When we stay in the moment we can notice synchronicities.

This means that we give ourselves the headspace to be informed by group consciousness.  In the moment, we can then begin to notice patterns and act appropriately on that information.

I prefer to avoid that phrase – everything happens for a reason.  It’s too sloppy and doesn’t describe our Universe accurately enough.

Let me know what you think!

Sarah is an Akashic Reader and Intuitive Coach, See available Readings to learn more.


7 Responses

  1. Agreed, it is too sloppy to say this. Same thing about “You must have chosen this reality if you are experiencing it.” As if our conscious MIND was in charge of choosing. Which is not always, indeed, probably not often the case. Great article Sarah. <3

    • Sarah Lawrence says:

      Hi Candace

      Thanks for commenting! I do believe it’s a good idea to examine some of the mysterious sayings we discover on the spiritual journey, then they can serve us better.

      Lots of light backatcha


  2. Priya says:

    Wonderful post Sarah. I agree that it is too sloppy to say this. Unless we come from a space of real consciousness and are able to take responsibility for our life we cannot say that everything happens for a reason. We can most definitely learn from our past and take those lessons going forwards. I do know that when I rush and I am not fully present I normally trip up on the pavement. I also think that this phrase can be used as a way to control people (I think I have been reading too many posts about so called ‘Gurus’). xx

    • Sarah Lawrence says:

      Hi Priya!

      Glad you enjoyed it. Becoming more mindful as you say is all part of the journey. Yes! Control! I like it. Consider that controlling people is a way to control personal feelings, too. Perhaps discomfort does not want to be looked at, so talking in generaLIESations like this will block out the discomfort for the speaker.

      Lots of light


  3. Karen Hyder says:

    Thank you for this, Sarah. My dear cousin lost her infant son to SIDS and was/ is devastated. When would-be supporters consoled her by saying, “everything happens for a reason,” she felt rage, desperate to understand what possible reason there could there be. It made no sense. What karma, what lesson, what purpose could there be???
    While death is, of course, a natural progression of life, a grief-stricken parent is not comforted by that cold reminder.
    How can we say what we mean better, respond to this statement better, or should we steer clear of pat responses that aim to ease what cannot be eased?
    With love and gratitude, Karen 🙂

    • Hi Karen,

      I do understand your cousin’s response and I am so sorry to hear of her loss. As you know, I have lost a child too. When a parent loses a child, it’s akin to having a large part of that person’s insides scraped out and removed, leaving a gaping hole. A parent has to continue to manage life with that constant reminder, plus other daily triggers. So, what to say, how to help?

      I know for me, two of the most annoying and enraging phrases were ‘Everything happens for a reason’ (as discussed), and ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through’. Both are meant to be kind but do not help in the present. Sometimes I felt like saying after the 25th person saying “I can’t imagine”, “Just be glad you don’t have to imagine!”

      If it was me, what I would want to hear is a genuine “I’m so sorry. If you want, you can tell me about it. If you don’t want to talk about it right now, is there anything practical I can do to help in the moment?” (Load the dishwasher, run an errand, bring them food, call them weekly). They may want to come back to you on that and if they do, commit and follow up when they do. When a year has passed by, a lot of people silently seem to agree that it’s time for a parent to move on, or in fact, anyone who has suffered the loss of a Loved One. Move on from what? Their child will always be gone. There will always be lost opportunities, lost life, endless birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases to get through. Parents ultimately find ways to heal somewhat from their loss but the grieving is a lifetime task and never goes away. Nor would parents want the grieving to leave, because they will always love their child, so they will always grieve the loss.

      If a person is too overwhelmed to help in the sight of so much naked pain, then it’s best not to try. Over time, maybe they can think of other ways to help. There will always be more bad days, more grieving to do, so helpers will have plenty of opportunities to try again.

      I hope that helps, and thank you for opening the window to this discussion. I wish the best for your cousin on her journey of loss. Remember, at some point she will heal, but she will always grieve.

      Lots of love and light


      • khyder says:

        Thanks so much, Sarah. I AM so very sorry for your loss. I appreciate your willingness to share.

        I’m sure at some point, I’ve uttered both of those phrases. I endeavor to be more conscious and less trite.

        In the 17 years Justin has been gone, my cousin, her other children, (and me, sometimes) have celebrated his birthday by taking a trip or releasing balloons. We openly talk about how much we miss him, how sad we are that he didn’t get to experience the things we love to do. We call him our guardian angel when bad situations turn out well.

        I understand that she really, really doesn’t want to “get over it,” to forget him, nor for anyone to forget about him. So, we celebrate when we can and cry when we must. I try to be present.

        Wishing you love and light on you journey, too, my sister.

        Karen 🙂

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