Energetic Projection as a lesson taught by my daughter
What is Energetic Projection?
An energetic projection is when we project what we know, understand or believe from our internal reality onto someone else without checking the data first.
Energetic Projection – what we think we know
In its’ least harmful form it can manifest as “I cooked you the parmesan chicken dish because you told me your mom cooked it for you when you were a kid”. On further discussion, it is discovered that the person intensely dislikes parmesan chicken for precisely that reason. Ooops.
A minor slip-up, not causing too much damage other than a wasted dinner and possibly some hurt feelings on the part of the cook. If the lesson is learned, the cook will ask first next time!
Energetic Projection – what we like or love becomes ‘ours’
Another common form of energetic projection is fan adoration.
Fans get to ‘know’ the individual that they like through media without having ever met the person. There are so many ways to do this in the modern world – movies, YouTube, Twitter streams, pictures, books, concerts…
Over time the fan creates an internalized relationship with the famous person and will even turn this person into an object of their affection – without really knowing the person at all and often without ever having met the person.
Again, no harm was done. A famous person usually engages in supporting the projections of fans for their own benefit and it doesn’t harm the famous person unless they start to believe the projections are really who they are instead of themselves (Tom Cruise, Miley Cyrus). Then the plot begins to get lost….
If a fan is obsessive, the projection can take on a life of its own and cause stalking behavior. Usually, though projections like this are all something we wake up from eventually as we grow.
Energetic Projection as a way of Controlling People
In abusive relationships, partners or parents can use energetic projection as a form of control because of their own damaged past. Because of the damage done before, a parent can desire a ‘perfect’ child or a partner can desire a ‘perfect’ loved one.
This energetic projection will often be maintained by use of abusive and defining language…and in extreme cases, physical violence against the perceived perpetrator.
Energetic Projection from a Controlling Partner
Strong control in an abusive partner relationship may result in demands from one partner that the other behave in certain ways to match up to the internal ‘picture’ that the abusive partner holds.
Language will be used to hold that perfect picture in place…obliterating any real chance of the partner been seen for who they really are. This may go on for years in mutual unawareness until one day the controlled partner wakes up from the projected spell and realizes they have not been seen for who they really are.
Energetic Projection as a way of controlling children
Controlling parents ‘see’ their child as the perfect person they always hoped they could be, fulfilling dreams that were left unfulfilled, living aspects of life that were perceived to have been missed
Enter my oldest daughter
The other week in the car – where we have some of our best discussions – she made a request.
“Mom – I like hearing stories of your childhood…but you need to realize that they are not about me. You are projecting what didn’t happen for you onto me – and it’s nothing to do with me, really. You need to step back and let me have my life.”. My oldest daughter is 12.
Wow. I always knew I had an Indigo child and this proves it further for me. I’ve been teaching her about energy and it’s a good lesson for me.
It is her life and I will step back and let it be hers. I know I’m breaking a pattern that happened very strongly between myself and my mother too.